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jedi mind tricks

Aug. 16th, 2011 | 05:31 am

I know all the times were hard
I know that you've been feeling down
If you only knew how I'm feeling for you
If I could take your pain
I wish that I could wash it all away
If you only knew how I'm feeling

You have power and money, but you are mortal
You know you cannot escape death
But immortality can be obtained
The legend is always the same
If others have succeed in conquering death
Why must we accept it?
I know where the immortals live
And how to obtain their secret
We too must become wise men
The elements of chemistry are many, but finite
So are the techniques of enlightenment

You've been running around for so long
You've been hurting yourself too much
You keep messing around with darkness
You're the one who's losing
You've been running around for so long
You've been hurting yourself too much
You keep messing around with darkness
You're the one who's losing

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so hang high soft rock star

Jul. 12th, 2011 | 05:34 pm
music: metric

its been awhile since i posted anything. to think that i first started posting an entry here 3 years ago, time really flies huh. shit happened this past months. i turned 20 two weeks ago. also, i received my conscription letter. 3rd battalion SIR? what the flying fuck is that?

i am slowly beginning to realize things i should have realized long ago. what is going on and why is it always going on? how is it i’m so far removed from this equation, but i find myself upset every day?

that night was a night that smiles and alcohol couldn't cure. there were friends, there were hugs. there were drinks and love. i really hope the friends i have now will stay close. typing in this space is weird. so good bye for now.

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(no subject)

Jun. 2nd, 2011 | 03:25 pm

1001 alasan!

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(no subject)

May. 27th, 2011 | 05:09 am

One day...

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//

May. 26th, 2011 | 07:17 pm

And all the world's a stage
I existed because I dreamed and well, I dream no more

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//

May. 5th, 2011 | 06:01 pm

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back."

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//

May. 4th, 2011 | 06:58 pm
music: Mew - Eight Flew Over, One was Destroyed | Powered by Last.fm

i hate that being on the sidelines means being slapped in the face by the ripple effect. and that as simple as that, a friendship is redefined. new boudaries of trust are established. one closeness is shattered while another one blossoms.

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//xx//

Apr. 25th, 2011 | 04:57 pm

electronic girl, supersonic world
we keep holding on to nothing
we keep typing, we're not talking

illusion of speech, world won't get by me
i feel like i'm on to something
but we keep moving, we're not there yet

almost there. feel like we've been going nowhere.

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//

Apr. 20th, 2011 | 02:51 pm

i am lost. its hard to maintain a calm disposition. also right, i am sorry. i am a fuck up. i am sorry. i am sorry. i am sorry.

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//

Apr. 3rd, 2011 | 01:54 am

why must I be so self contained? I just want to tell someone everything. but i don’t think there is anyone who would really want to listen - and if they did it would involve heavy judgement.

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///////////

Mar. 23rd, 2011 | 07:51 am
music: The Kooks - Always Where I Need To Be | Powered by Last.fm

i havent slept a wink. now i am smoking a cigarette.

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//

Mar. 13th, 2011 | 07:21 pm

no retaliation. we are all good inside,we want to be in harmony together. ask yourself, dont follow what other people think. just ask yourself. when that happens then only you can be in peace, so can everyone else.

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whatever comes, let it come.

Mar. 8th, 2011 | 12:17 am

It's my own design, it's my own remorse, help me to decide, help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure.

There's a room where the light won't find you,
Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down.
When they do I'll be right behind you,
So glad we've almost made it, so sad they had to fade it.

I can't stand this indecision married with a lack of vision.

Say that you'll never never never never need it
One headline why believe it?

Nothing ever lasts forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everybody
wants
to
rule the world.

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////////

Feb. 26th, 2011 | 05:17 pm
music: bloc party

i will not listen and i won't be told

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xxxxxxxxxx

Feb. 23rd, 2011 | 04:05 am

sometimes when i see people being really whiny, i just want to deck them. does anyone else get this feeling?

so seriously tonight i killed a roach the size of a small bird in my kitchen. my sisters were screaming for like 10 minutes before i killed it.

it is still going on. not my sister's screaming. i am very tired.

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stella cadente

Feb. 18th, 2011 | 04:46 pm

So you want to be an artist, want to be a singer

Want to be remembered for what you could create

So you want to be a cowboy, ride into the distance

Never have to listen or answer to anyone

So you want to be a boxer, surviving on your instincts

Relying on your fists and the quickness of your wit

Are you bigger than these buildings and the grey around you?

Is your pain more worthy than everybody else?

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but you end up getting tired of doing psychoanalysis of yourself.

Feb. 9th, 2011 | 11:29 pm

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i built an enamel around myself

Jan. 31st, 2011 | 03:12 am

hmmm... it's hard to say what exactly i'm feeling right now. though a good deal of it is relief. i feel like things are looking up.

so i watched foals live after dreaming about it since i was 15. at the risk of sounding gay, but i touched yannis' chest and part of his beard. really! the same yannis every girl wants to fuck. or rather the same yannis that every boy wants to be. i was expecting their set to be good. and they aced it. so gut wrenchingly real. perfect. im still not over this. definitely a night to remember :D

you've got the blood in your hands// i know its my own

k bye.

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//

Jan. 4th, 2011 | 11:37 am
music: Sean Lennon - Parachute | Powered by Last.fm

last year has completely flown by and pretty much disappeared. also, sort of related, i feel like my mind has turned to mush. i have so much to say and i feel like i dont quite have the capacity to articulate anything at all.

also, one of my biggest problems has always been that i am incapable of telling people when they are really, really important to me and when they are really, really hurting my feelings. right. so i'm looking to the future with(lots of) optimism or at least trying to...

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//

Jan. 3rd, 2011 | 06:46 pm

"we are not enemies, but friends. we must not be enemies. though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. the mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature."

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apathy.

Dec. 29th, 2010 | 08:51 am

right now, i know what my happiness trifecta needs to be:
good people and friends and warmth.
someone to trust and tell everything secret to.
assasin's creed brotherhood (not kidding).

i should be happy with 1 out of 3.

there must be something. i am very simple.

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shooting star

Dec. 11th, 2010 | 05:45 pm

there are a constant series of visions that exist in my mind of how i think and hope life is and will be. when i try to communicate them, i get so excited about what i get excited about that when i finally really look at the other person's face, i see in it the pity, disgust, or utter disinterest, or combination of all three, and my shock at my own lack of control sends my pounding embarrassed little heart back to where she came from.

and when the sound of my jaw popping fully wakes me up and brings me back to earth, I have to re-learn that the hurt i feel is just punishment for my arrogance.

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lovely ludwig van

Dec. 9th, 2010 | 05:01 am

this whole year have felt like a dead suffocating blanket and i want to get away from it and feel like a person again.

recent/
been watching movies. just watched a clockwork orange for the fourth time now.

nerves, uncertain-ness, second thoughts and (the bad kind of) butterflies about a lot of things.

im sure itll all be fine in the end, and it is what i want, but i'm so bored right now because this is my comfort zone and boring is safe. being safe sounds really comforting innit

i dont even know who reads this livejournal anymore. livejournal is deadddddddddd as shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt. fuck it. its 5 am in the morning and my dad isnt back from work? he should win an award seriously.

i feel like im melting. goodbye

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not in loveeeee

Nov. 17th, 2010 | 04:32 am

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//

Nov. 8th, 2010 | 02:40 am

i feel like i'm in some kind of weird limbo right now. i've been thinking about how i have a lot of regrets about a lot of things, but part of being really stubborn is not making any moves to do anything about them other than wishing that i could go back in time and start certain things & habits over again. how productive right. i'm not quite sure whats going on with me, other than that i've begun to actually notice how lonely and gay i've become lately. oh, pity party. lets hope it rains again tonight. goodnight.

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//

Nov. 7th, 2010 | 02:18 am

i am not going to go into detail about how horrible tonight was. but it was bad. don't believe me? ask 1am. i'm also an asshole. these things happen

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///

Oct. 12th, 2010 | 07:00 am

For every girl who is tired of acting weak when she is strong, there is a boy tired of appearing vulnerable.
For every boy who is burdened with the constant expectation of knowing everything, there is a girl tired of people not trusting her intelligence.
For every girl who is tired of being called over-sensitive, there is a boy who fears to be gentle, to weep.
For every boy whom competition is the only way to prove his masculinity, there is a girl called unfeminine when she competes.
For every girl who throws out her easy bake oven, there is a boy who wishes to find one.
For every boy struggling not to let advertising dictate his desires, there is a girl facing the ad industry's attacks on her self-esteem.
For every girl who takes a step toward her liberation, there is a boy who finds the way to freedom a little easier.

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//

Oct. 6th, 2010 | 07:02 pm

sometimes i feel as though i am in this battle alone. and this isn't your typical 19 year old rant about life. it's way more. or maybe it's way less. i haven't decided yet. but this isn't typical.it's really hard sometimes. keeping your composure when you are constantly denied that something which you want the most. all i want is to not ache. but the very foundation of this is tougher than you can imagine. i suppose it's time to either take a giant step or find a better way to cope. i have convinced myself that this is so wrong and that was so right. and i'm not ready to abandon my hypothesis yet. so i guess we learn to cope...

i dont know why i was affected when you said it that night. i really dont.

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//

Sep. 30th, 2010 | 04:14 am

i am unmistakenly drained. my constitution is tired. i'm writing sideways to keep my heart from catching up with my thoughts. ive always thought faster than i feel and i feel scared. so i think something needs to be done.

to late-nights and good beer and mary janes. to me.

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//

Sep. 20th, 2010 | 02:59 am

i think something changes in people when they reach that certain plateau. where the quips and the comments and the jokes and the sarcastic pretension become real. we're all thin, and we're all pretty. and we're all wanted, and we're all sought after. and we are all also so much more than that. and so much less. because we're all missing something and we're all a few seconds too late - constantly. and that's the thing. you keep it fake because it's FAKE. it's the most humble form of pretension you've ever seen. but when the pangs of truth ring so loudly it's deafening... it's another story. it's a different story.

when you're less than you always want more.
when you're more than you always want less.

and that's the catch.
that's why this is so tricky.

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//

Sep. 12th, 2010 | 03:58 am

still pretty high from shan's birthday at zirca. let me type this before i go to sleep. i am tired of putting effort into somethings and someones that don't deserve said effort. you can only try talk to someone so many times before you realize they want nothing to do with what you say and exist purely to hear the sound of their own voice echoing off of your forehead. it's self-centered echo-location. we should all get on it. it's going to sweep the nation. no one is good enough or smart enough at anything to ever make me feel like i am less than the human being that i am. done? done. okay? okay.godnight

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(no subject)

Sep. 9th, 2010 | 05:15 am

im back to typing like this. only because it looks cooler. ha ha ha

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long shot dreams.

Sep. 9th, 2010 | 05:05 am

sometimes i wish that i could say the things that i know would kill. and i don't know why, still, i am shocked when a perspective flips and does a 180º turn in a fraction of a second. i no longer question my inability to change or my personal stagnancy. i now question the inability to stand steadfast as well as personal resolve in others.

words. nothing more.

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//

Sep. 6th, 2010 | 05:42 am
music: Klaxons - Echoes

Woke up abruptly at 4am in the bleeding morning on the night i decided to turn in early because my blackberry beeped. Fuck my blackberry. Hard. I never had an affinity with hand phones and only my closest of friends will get me when i say that. And i love people who get me. Truth is, I'm not here to please everyone but i would always opt to be liberal rather than to be bounded by rationality and cautiousness. Life so far has been peachy. Yup. Real peachy.

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///

Sep. 6th, 2010 | 04:40 am
music: Graffiti6 - Stare Into The Sun | Powered by Last.fm

There are things about yourself which you feel are inner most self defining things. And weaknesses we long for friends to identify for us. You desperately want people to see these things. You scream it out at the top of your lungs. And weep deeply to yourself when it seems that nobody understands. You cry for recognition. Especially to loved ones. But the thing we often wonder far from.. Neglect to realize.. is the fact that everything meant to be seen or understood, will be. As it is. And you can say more by saying nothing at all.

True communication.

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//

Aug. 28th, 2010 | 04:09 am
music: foals

No two people will feel the same way, though it usually has to do with scent, or expression, the sound of a voice, an unusual gesture.

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///

Aug. 19th, 2010 | 02:50 am

Echoes
              reflect
                          and change

They serenade.

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Dead like me.

Aug. 12th, 2010 | 01:25 am

Experience has taught me that interest begets expectation, and expectation beget disappointment, so the key to avoiding disappointment is to avoid interest. A equals B equals C Equals A, or whatever. I also don't have a lot of interest in being a good person or a bad person. From what I can tell, either way, you're screwed. Bad people are punished by society's laws, and good people are punished by Murphy's Law. So you see my dilemma.

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Dreamer.

Aug. 8th, 2010 | 05:53 pm

Its only withing a matter of time where one can stop pretending and everything starts to fall apart. The huge cracks which we have imagined to be so small starts breaking uncontrollably. Nothing can ever fix those cracks again. The small little important pieces have disappeared. Its like what we've been trying to hold on for so long has lost all sense and purpose. The ugly truth which have been covered up by pretty dreams are starting to surface. No tears, no pain, no love can sustain the fact where everything which was once so beautiful and perfect is now something so disgusting and wretched. A fucking curse.

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i told you how long we've got

Oct. 27th, 2009 | 09:39 am
mood: sleepysleepy



all the time in the world.

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fo porter

Oct. 15th, 2009 | 11:29 pm



O M G

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-

Oct. 13th, 2009 | 02:22 am
music: apc

threw you the obvious and you flew
with it on your back, a name in your recollection,
thrown down among a million same.
but i threw you the obvious just to
see if there's more behind the
eyes of a tragedy
difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed
and passed over
when i've looked right through
to see you naked and oblivious
and
you don't see me. at all

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feel good drag

Aug. 31st, 2009 | 03:47 am
mood: peacefulpeaceful



ACE!

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we used to dream

Jul. 27th, 2009 | 06:19 pm
music: sigur ros




Good shit here (Y). I don't know why I'm attracted to such songs. It is always the somber, slow, and sometimes acoustic songs that always get me. I have always fallen for the instrumental, The Incoherent, and the ethereal. I love ambient sounds and epic crescendos and decrescendos. The space between the music where thoughts can chase after each other in open fields. Overcast, cloudy and perhaps some puddles here and there..Okeh im gonna continue watching princess mononoke :D

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(no subject)

Dec. 1st, 2008 | 12:13 am
music: van she



friends only. add to read

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